The Literal ONLY Thing No One Told Me About Being A Parent

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Being a parent, I’ve realized, is basically a series of one cliché after another eventually ringing true – the very same clichés, mind you, I found so annoying to hear throughout my pregnancy, dispensed by friends and strangers alike, and disguised as advice. But guess what, guys? IT IS ALL SO TRUE. Just true in a way that isn’t obvious or interesting or useful until you are In It. “Enjoy that sleep now.” (DEAR GOD. NO COMMENT.) “You’ll never feel such love.” (I MEAN.) “They grow so fast.” (HOW IS BAILEY ALMOST SIX MONTHS OLD.) (NO, REALLY, HOW.) I now see that the longstanding tradition of speaking those clichés to every preggo stranger on the street is actually part of a greater effort to ensure that soon-to-be mama that she is not, actually, alone in the universe when she finds herself changing a screaming baby’s diaper at 4am on a Saturday night, unshowered and unloved and about to give up. These clichés are a support system in disguise: We’ve all been there, love. It will be ok.  Continue reading →

PSA: American Eagle Is Better Than You Think

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Anyone who knows me knows that I have ALWAYS bought the most essential part of my summer uniform – the denim cutoff – at American Eagle. Heck, ALL of my shorts at American Eagle. I don’t even know how I discovered this; it’s not a place I ever even shopped at the age one would ostensibly shop there. I’m guessing it came from desperation: I’ve tried Levi’s. I’ve tried rag & bone. 7forallmankind. Forever21. Acne. And not a pair in the bunch gave me what I was looking for: a pair of shorts that fit snugly but not too tightly, are shorter than I should maybe be wearing at this age and do not (and this ABOVE ALL) even closely resemble those dreaded, too-big mom shorts that I perhaps should be wearing at this age. Enter, if inexplicably, American Eagle.

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THE BEST THING SOMEONE SAID WHEN I WAS THE STEPMOM IN THE THROES OF A CUSTODY AGREEMENT

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This recurring feature was born out of a combination of the two of us looking for near-constant validation and advice from one another and finding that that quest is one of the benchmarks of female friendship, plus learning that a healthy dose of Googling “what to say when ___” and “what to do when ___” was coming up short in terms of helpful advice.

A few weeks back, I was venting to my friend Kelly about an ongoing custody dispute that had become unpleasant and later that night she sent me this text…

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How To Buy Kids’ Clothes On Instagram

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Something you should know about me is that I never pay full retail if I can avoid it. Blame my Jewish mother or my years spent getting kickbacks in the Lucky magazine fashion closet. I like the thrill of the hunt, but I love the thrill of paying less.

Discovering that I could buy gently used designer kids’ clothing directly from people who I follow on Instagram at a fraction of the original price made me so joyful. My gateway purchase was a pair of Duchess and Lion mustard and ivory Ikat harem pants bought from @latonyayvette for $15. Then came a pair of black and white checked stovepipe pants with zipper details for $5 I claimed in a moving out of the country sale conducted over the social media platform. After that it was the neon cheetah print roll-cuff harem shorts I bought from @gavins_goodies (pictured above) for $13, followed closely behind by the Bobo Choses terrycloth evil eye leggings I bought for $17 from @shopityshop (@lindsaymeyerharley‘s resale account) for the baby boy I’ll be delivering unto this world in August.

If you are also turned on by hoarding unique and original clothing purchased from people on the internet who you’ve never met, here are some tips to get you started.

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