IF ONE MORE PERSON TELLS ME THEY THOUGHT I HAD MY SHIT TOGETHER

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Cross-posting this from my Instagram account because LET IT BE SAID HENCEFORTH AND FOREVERMORE: If I have given the impression that my life is not filled with babies eating paint, kids having unfortunate accidents during nap time, breaking up physical fights and emotional fights, babies crying and pulling at the leg of my pants while I cook dinner that at least one person will declare disgusting before tasting it, battling about screen time, hearing someone beg for mommy while I am on the toilet so infrequently it’s a wonder I don’t have a UTI and checking to see if anyone is watching me unstick a scrap of quesadilla from a high chair before eating it its because compared to the hellfire that is our current world reality I find my grievances distasteful to air. Everything is temporary, is a parenting mantra I have found to be most true and effective; the bad moments will pass but so too will the good ones, and too quickly or maybe we won’t even be lucky enough to get to live to see them all. Going to work, staying home, doing both somehow: these things can all be temporary in the course of a life. But I guess if I use my space on Earth to only share the good, I am leading some people to believe that I don’t have days where I am sad, anxious, confused about my identity or generally lonely and it’s not truthful. FYI.

36

this feels like an age where it is Official. i should probably cut my hair to some sort of bob thing. and invest in more breezy, knee-grazing dresses. and only wear cut-off shorts at the beach.

despite this actual real and semi-scary and awakening move into what is legit old age, i can’t help but feel grateful, so fucking grateful for the wonderful women i have in my life, who hold me up and support me and send loving vibes throughout every minute of my day. for my family who cares about everything that happens to me, big or small. for my husband, and the realization that i can barely even bring myself to acknowledge that maybe we made it after all. that at one point, everything was torn away and burned down and nothing went as planned, yet everything somehow did go as planned, because here we are, me thirty six, living in the greatest city in the world, doing work that means a lot to me, along side a partner who believes in the same great future i do, and raising the sweetest, mushiest, silliest, sassiest meatball of a daughter.

whatever happens next  – whatever other shoe may drop – i’ll at least have this moment of reflection on my thirty sixth birthday to hold dear, when all was quietly right in an imperfect way in my world.

( fyi, it has now been 36 days since i turned 36, and i am just posting this now. and so it goes.) 

How To Wear Makeup In Your 30s, From Our Beautiful (Even / Especially When Bare-Faced) Pal Katherine

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(Ed. Note: Katherine [KG] is my Ariel of Amazon, the pal I was lucky enough to meet at MyHabit and slog through the ol’ 9 – 5 with for a couple o’ glorious years. We’ve bummed ciggies from randos outside a Dallas hotel at 1am, we’ve polished off an unnecessary extra bottle of red in bathrobes whilst in Seattle, and we’ve put actual advertising spend behind the syndication of this ridiculous (-ly awesome) video documenting a few of our other, very serious work endeavors. I really miss seeing her every day, especially now that she and her husband moved back to Milwaukee so she could take a new, kick-ass job. ANYWAY. I digress. I reached out to KG to BEG her for some beauty and makeup tips, since the girl always looks gorgeous and luminous and my skin looks like a piece of roadkill since birthing Bailey, no matter what I put on it. She humored me, in a big way, below. Tried the routine with the products I do have so far this am and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!)

“First and foremost, I believe nothing is more important than finding the right face wash for your skin. I’ve tried loads, and when it’s wrong, it entirely affects how my makeup looks. I need something that is sensitive yet cleans the (actual) crap out of my skin since I’m prone to dryness/flaking in some places, and oil slicks in others. I’ve been using Neutrogena Oil-Free Acne Wash for years, and it has triumphed through birth control changes, moves, job changes, NYC smog, and other acne-inducing life-ness that has been tossed my way. The little bit of salicylic acid goes a long way to keep my pores clean. Again, trial and error, this step.

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